I don’t know her
I can’t figure why
She’s always here with me
But I still can’t read the sky
I don’t feel her
Unless it hurts
The rest all falls away
& nothing seems to work
But we go on
Day after day
Seems like there’s no other way
& we wait
I guess
To get better acquainted
But when I look in the mirror now
I don’t know her anymore
This lump in my throat
This hole in my heart
This burn on my soul
Shaped like you…
I study everyone’s faces
I don’t know why
What I’m looking for
Myself
I guess
I look so hard
Everywhere
Anywhere
For something
For somewhere
Toxic
Like arsenic
The way you flow through my veins
Caustic
Your fingertips
Like sweet acid rain
Noxious
Your gaze
Every word that you say
Reckless
To love you
But I do
Anyway
When I say I want to leave
What I really mean is kiss me
When I say I have to go
What I mean is tell me no
When we go through this again
Acting like some kind of friends
I don’t want to pretend
I just want it all to end
When I say it’s you I need
What I really mean is kill me
When I say we can’t go on
What I mean is prove me wrong
When you break my heart again
Acting like it’s made to bend
I don’t want to make amends
I just want something to defend
If I had a cent
For every lie
You told to me
I’d buy your time
And if I had a dollar
For all the ways
You break my heart
I’d pay your stay
But all I have
Is your resent
My love for you
And my regrets
And even though
That’s all that’s left
I am still
Collecting coins
My weakness
Splashed about
Mocking me
Taunting me
Like a game
That I lost
But can’t seem to end
Like a drug
I would kill for
Again
And again
Sleep escapes me
As do you
Together you both must sit
Talking
Laughing
At my inadequacies
My hopes
My dreams
Laughing
While I listen
For what it all means
blood and lace 